Winter is coming, and with that, Christmas will soon be upon us. Making contact arrangements for children over the holiday period can be a difficult task for separated parents. However, as difficult as it may be, you are better to address it early as doing so can save you a lot of stress and worry.
How you make these arrangements depends on your situation. If you already have a Child Arrangements Order from the court which states where your child will be spending Christmas, you should stick to those terms.
If you have an informal arrangement and have not yet made a decision about what will happen over the holiday period, you should start, if possible, by communicating with the other parent. That way you can try to reach an agreement you are both happy with.
You need to decide the best holiday arrangements for your particular child. Some parents alternate Christmas and New Year each year, some continue with the usual care arrangements and let Christmas and New Years day lie where they fall, others split the days in half and so on.
When thinking about what would work best for your children, it is important to be realistic and child-focused.
It is therefore important to begin making arrangements for the children during the Christmas period as early as possible.
Do not ask your children where they want to spend Christmas Day, this places far too much pressure upon them and is unfair. Ensure that times and dates are agreed between the parents and stick to them. Agree between the two of you who will be dropping off the children, collecting them, when and where from.
Most importantly of all, be prepared to compromise with your ex partner. The children will have a much better Christmas if they are aware that their parents are able to speak to one another without constantly arguing and, if Christmas contact has been agreed early enough, it will make for a far more relaxing festive period for both yourself and the children.
If your ex partner is being obstructive in making suitable arrangements for the children during the holiday season, there are a number of options that you can consider:
1. Write a letter to your former partner (assuming that you cannot speak to them directly) and set out your proposals for contact over the Christmas period. You should suggest specific times for collection and return of the children and do not forget to include New Year arrangements as well. Allow them some time to get to get back to you, however, do not leave it too late. If you contact a family solicitor the week before Christmas demanding that the court sort out your child’s Christmas contact with an order, this is simply not going to happen. A letter from a solicitor can be taken more seriously but beware, it can be seen as inflammatory too.
2. If you do not think that a letter will help, consider family mediation. A trained mediator will assist both yourself and your ex partner with a view to reaching a mutual agreement.
3. Court proceedings should always be a last resort. They are time consuming, stressful and costly. You can never have a 100% guarantee that you will achieve the exact outcome that you want. This is the time of year that the court is starting to receive applications from parents to deal specifically with Christmas contact.
In summary, early discussions about the holidays will leave you best placed to have a stress-free Christmas.
At John Hodge Solicitors our Family Law team is very experienced in all matters of family law, including disputes over financial matters, children issues and divorce.
Our Family law team will provide you with expert legal advice, draft all of your legal documents, offer you advice on the next steps to be taken during proceedings and, should your proceedings require attendance at court, represent you during those hearings. We understand that this is an extremely stressful time and, by providing expert advice and being approachable, we hope to remove as much stress from our clients as possible.
We, at John Hodge Solicitors, understand the pit falls to look out for during Family disputes, our solicitors are friendly, approachable and easy to talk to. The Family team offer a free consultation within which they provide expert advice with no obligation.
Andrew Campbell
James Young